December 11, 2013

Dear Arlo,

I told you I would write back soon.  How are you today?  As always, I am great.  I am getting my rambling spirit back.  Though it wasn't even probably a month ago that I was sitting in downtown Boone, I cannot help but wish I was there again right now.  You see Boone has this really great record store.  Which right here where I live there are no record stores.  Well unless you count Goodwill, which I do not. 

 Honestly though, I like to use the record store as an excuse just to go up to the mountains.  Like Ashville, Boone is wonderful.  Somewhere in the crisp cold air you hear music everywhere. Which is the most amazing feeling in the world.  I can almost feel the music running through my veins as I walk through the town.  You can see people trying to get rid of the hippies, but to me that is the culture of these places and without them they would not be wonderful like they are.  If you get rid of the culture, then you destroy these places are.

One thing I really would love to be able to do is go to downtown Hendersonville.  For the last two years I have missed the Chalk It Up Festival.  I would really like to go and participate in it. Though I would have to say my sidewalk chalk drawing is probably a little shabby here lately.  Either way, I would have a wonderful time.

Here where I live, they don't encourage drawing on the downtown sidewalk in chalk. I don't think they mean to oppose it so much, I just believe they are scared of what they do not know. An age old problem.  You would believe us smart enough to learn from our past mistakes, however history seems to repeat itself over and over and over again.  Luckily, every generation seems to have a group of kids who have the willpower strong enough to oppose the conformity. Who are not afraid to standup and make a difference. Who are not afraid to love.  And some would argue all we need is love.  Or maybe I really need to watch Across the Universe because the entire movie is stuck my head.

Either way I hope you have a wonderful day.

Sincerely your fan,

Brittani

December 9, 2013

Dear Arlo,

I am sorry it has been a while since I have written.  I'm not going to offer up excuses as to why I have not written.  I could offer 100 or more but I don't really believe in excuses so I figured it be better just to leave them out.

How have you been?  I have been pretty good.  I wish I wasn't always working all the time.  I really wanted to go up to the Guthrie Center for Thanksgiving.  While I was at work early Thanksgiving morning I couldn't help but to feel so, what is the word I'm looking for.  Maybe conformed. I was never really one to not live in the moment. Yet this Thanksgiving instead of going up there I stayed here and worked. I must say I felt obligated because I am supervisor now.  Like if I didn't I was going to disappoint a lot of people.  Of course I still started the day perfect.  Early morning I listened to Alice's restaurant, Simon and Garfunkel, and watched Across the Universe.  It was a good start to a very long day.  And of course the next day was Black Friday.  It wasn't too bad where I work.  But I live in a small town.  I can only imagine how horrible it would've been if I lived in a big city.  I really cannot see how people can be so horrible to one another just four items.  And it never really occurred to me that these things were so important.

 Of course I have always been the one who said I didn't need technology.  Being a writer this isn't true.  One of the reasons I have not written, I'm not offering up excuses I'm just explaining, is because I moved and I didn't have the Internet.  Not needing technology would mean I do not need the Internet.  How can I have a blog without technology?  So I must say im someways technology is beneficial.  Plus, I am getting really use this smart phone.  I have not had it for 48 whole hours yet it is so easy to be able to do my blogs on here.  I have a feeling I am going to like it more than I thought I would.

I promise to keep in touch more than I have been. I hope you have a good day. 

Sincerely your fan,

Brittani

September 25, 2013

Dear Arlo,

I think one of the main problems of this world is judgment.  So many people think that they know someone when they have no idea who they are.  I have heard so much.

“I would help the homeless but….”

“Look at her/him…..”

“Drunk, whore, slut, stupid,”

And I will leave out the worse.

Everyone has a label for the other person.  And I can’t say anything bad about the people judging or I will be judging the people judging.  Isn’t this kind of ironic.  Even the best of us can’t get out of it.

I wonder what it would be like if our thought process wasn’t so narrow.

I wish we could look at everyone like we were blind so we might see more clearly.  Then the only judgments we could spit out is the truth.

Sincerely,
Brittani

September 21, 2013

Dear Arlo,

Do you think mornings are too early to write letters?

Even if the day has begun for me, it is a Saturday.  Most people are still tucked away in bed waiting for noon before arising.  The only ones out are yard sellers, flea marketers, and coupon clippers.  I guess there should be an option that says other.  For the rest of us who wake before noon and are not one of the above.

My  point goes back to my question though, do you think mornings are too early to write letters because the letter may be uneventful?

I wouldn’t say so.  I think letters with list of play by plays aren’t always the best thing to read.  I enjoy thought.  Then again, play by plays that are interesting are always enjoyable to read too.  Honestly, there is never a great time to write a letter.  However, if you catch the right moment, timing doesn’t seem to matter.

My moment this morning is sitting here amongst the quiet without worry or care, listening to music, drinking Sun Drop, and writing to you.  Later this morning I will be at work, ringing out hundreds of later bloomers just beginning their day and in a rush to get going, but right now the sound of a keyboard being typed on is as soothing as rain on a tin roof.  It’s melody could put me asleep if I wasn’t so anxious to run out in the middle of the storm and scream.

Sincerely,
Brittani

September 19, 2013

Dear Arlo,

Can you see a piece of art in your mind before you ever begin it and it look just the way you imaged when you were finished?  I can.  I have had people ask me, why are you so excited, it is just a blank canvas, a blank page, or a piece of wire.  The reason is simple.  I have never had the pleasure of seeing anything blank. Everything to me was already beautiful when it was just raw material.  The beginning was in my head and the finish completed.  From that point on all I had to do was paint, write, or bead.  A work of art isn’t a process it is a thought.  A compassion.  An emotion.

Sincerely,
Brittani

September 14, 2013 Continued

Dear Arlo,

I guess I am going to be writing you two letters today.  I feel the urge again.  It is a strong urge to get in the car and just drive.  For me that is dangerous because I am never quit sure where I will end up.  I posted this on my Facebook earlier,

“Run, not because it takes you away but because it delivers you somewhere knew.”

And I fully support it.  Some people mistake running as trying to get away from what you are around.  It is more about finding a new way in life.  New is something so great.  I love your dad’s song you sing, “’Ramblin Round.”  Sometimes I feel like I am either cursed and gifted a life of restlessness.  Which one I can’t be sure.  I feel it though.  So often the feeling is so strong and I am not certain it will ever be a feeling that will leave me.  I guess only time will tell if it is a good thing or bad.  For me right now though, it doesn’t seem bad.  It seems beautiful.  And as the sun rises in the morning I feel the highway whispering, “I’m here.” and as the night dawns I hear the neon light’s shouting, “Aren’t you ready.”

Don’t they say those who wonder must wander?  It took me years to get up the nerve to write a blog and continue on daily, I don’t believe it is going to take me that long to wander.

Sincerely Your Fan,
Brittani

September 14, 2013

Dear Arlo,

I guess I will go back to after I meet him.  Months passed and I never saw a glance of him but at times I did wonder.  I wasn't sure why this stranger was so easy to wonder about and it scaring me only made me more curious.  I knew he had to be real but it had seemed such a moment in time it was easy to wonder if I might have dreamed it.

My friend, she one day said to me and other friends, “I will be bringing someone to lunch with us, and most people are afraid of him, but don’t be.”  This seemed strange.  I have never been afraid of anyone.  I rarely grasped the concept of real fear.  I just said okay while everyone else asked questions.  As she described him, I questioned, “Wait, do you mean,” I asked if it was him by the name I knew.  It was him no doubt.  He was far from scary.  He was real and I would finally get to see him again.

Lunch came and we all went to the familiar Chinese Restaurant downtown.   They served a buffet at lunch and this was one of those rare days all of us did not have a college class at this time.  When her and her boyfriend came in, he wasn't with her.  She said he had changed his mind.  I was dismayed.  I spent the entire time laughing, talking and joking with everyone while I was really only thinking about him.  A ghost that had reappeared deserved thought.  And thinking I did.

When we got back up to the college I didn't get to see him there either.  I was wondering if I would ever get to.

Sincerely,
Your Fan

September 12, 2013

Dear Arlo,

It was great today to feel the rain on my face as it ran down my hair.  It has been a while since it has rained here and finally this afternoon the weather quit teasing me and it poured.  As everyone else complained I couldn’t help but to want to soak in the water.  Everyone always seem so unhappy about the weather, sunshine, rain, wind, or snow.  There is nothing that seems to make them happy.  I tell people who complain, “yeah, I’m ready to complain about it being hot again instead of it raining,” as I do through all weather.  I’m not sure how many ever catch on to how sarcastic I am being is the sad part.

Tonight, I feel  inspired.  When I am done writing this I must sit down and write a poem or a story or something.  Anything.  It feels like my fingers has no other function than to move when I want to write.  Like they were never meant to sit still.  I hear all these words in my head and feel as if they must make it down on paper for the world to read.  Even if the whole world is just me.  Like something must be said and if it isn’t then I am going to walk outside and shout it out.  And I shout it out on paper.  Paper switches to blank works documents and then occasionally online.  It is a great process.   It just makes sense.

So I believe I will call it a night.  I hope you have nice one.

Sincerely,
Your Fan

September 11, 2013

Dear Arlo,

We all have a story, don’t we?  Some are more interesting than the others, but there is a story none the less.  Today being September 11, 2013, 12 years after the attacks, I have heard many stories on the radio today.  So I figured I would tell you mine.

September 11, 2001 I was sitting in 5th grade Science/Social Studies at my Elementary school.  This was my last year in Elementary School.  Next year I would be in middle.  The 5th graders always got to take a class field trip at the end of the year to Washington D.C, and though we had only been in school a little over a month, everyone was already really excited.

At first, none of us really knew what was going on, our teacher(for all purposes I will nickname her Mrs. Juliet in this letter), turned on the box TV in the upper corner of the room to the news.  On the T.V. was a big building burning.  She kept telling us how significant and horrible it was that this had happened, and as the class progressed we heard about the second building and the Pentagon.  Everything was blurry.  I didn’t know what the Twin Tower’s were.  Just whatever they were I would remember them forever because of this day.  I only knew what the Pentagon was because the field trip coming up.  The only bad thing happening to me was people were dying.

Of course, the day went on and the week went on after the day, and it seemed as the year continued so did everyone’s life and memory of what happened.  We, of course, had to cancel our D.C. Trip and had a fun trip to the Outer Banks  I didn‘t mind too much back then.  I wouldn’t get the opportunity to see D.C. again until I was 15, 16ish.   I would get to finally see it though.

Now, I get to hear everyone’s else’s opinions on what happened.  Which, I have came to the conclusion I still hate how many people died.  My view on America, the government, or anything don’t replace the people who lost their lives that day.  So I don’t say too much.  I just say a prayer for those who lost loved ones and whose families were effected.   I don’t have to be dumb or smart to show curtsey to people who hurt.  I figure there is always a time and place for my opinion, today just isn’t one of those days, so I keep silent in memory of those lost.

Sincerely,
Your Fan

September 10, 2013

Dear Arlo,

I was able to get me some beads.  Not as many as I would like but enough to do some of what I want done.  Which is fantastic.  I am so excited.  Right now I am exhausted though.  I finally got to ride around some.  I didn’t get as far as I wanted because I got distracted by a detour today on my way out of town.  Since I was distracted I took it, got lost, and found my way back around to where I needed to go.  It turned out it was connected to many roads I already knew.  Plus, it has many great things to stop by and do on the way.  It always takes me 2 hours to get somewhere I could take the interstate and arrive in 20 minutes. People miss so much taking the short way though.  The road less traveled has many benefits.  In this case, the  road less traveled is the back way.

Exhaustion is riding on my shoulders right now though.  I managed to make it home despite being so tired.  I can barley keep my eyes open right now.  I’m sorry it has been a few days since I wrote.  I have been busy and exploring.  I promise tomorrow I should be more interesting.

Sincerely,
Your (exhausted) Fan

September 8, 2013

Dear Arlo,

I have a sinking sadness from how people change.  Maybe my sinking sadness isn’t because people change.  Change is good.  It is how people, friends, seems to have got so lost they don’t even recognize themselves.  It is to the point that I believe some believe existence somewhat pointless.

I wonder how they got this way and why I never saw it until it was too late.  Was I too lost in myself I forgot to check up on my beloved friends to make sure they didn’t need a lift.  If I was anyone’s shoulder in life I see why when they went to lean they fell instead.  Sometimes I think everyone is looking for help that no one is ever there to give.  Why we are always so self consumed I am not sure.  I wonder what it would be like if we were looking to help each other rather than ourselves.  I think deep down most are just interested in self than others.  It makes me so empathetic.

I wish sometimes I could just hug people.  Not that this would really help them in the long run.  I feel their pain.  I just have trouble helping them understand how to make it go away.  Not that they would listen to me if I knew exactly how to make it go away.  Most think they have to help themselves.  I can’t help but wonder why we have people if we all just have to help ourselves.  Aren’t we suppose to help each other?  So why do we push others away when help is offered?

I wish I saw more people change in a good way.  I wish they would become more happy and self grounded.  Less worried and more relaxed.  Life is so short to always worry about everything.  Then you have the pointlessness of worry and how it changes nothing.  If I worry about something all night long I can’t even work on changing until the next day.  All I do is make up tons of unless scenarios that don’t get me anything but lack of sleep.   I have learned to write when I am worried.  I found my escape elsewhere in something I enjoy doing.

I live writing.  I dream about it.  I wake up wanting to write.  I go to sleep wanting to write.  Through out the day I want to write.  Right now, I spend time wishing I can write other people’s worries away.  If I must worry, I guess it is good it is spent on other people rather than myself.  Isn’t life a circle?

Sincerely,
Your Fan

September 7, 2013

Dear Arlo,

How are you this morning?  I am fantastic for the most part.  Which is a step up from yesterday.  I’m a little more settled though the open road seems to be like a call I will always be cursed with.  For the good and the bad moments.  It is a good feeling though, to wake up knowing God loves you, your kid loves you, you family loves you, and though everything could be better nothing is worse.  Plus, I don’t have to work today so I am not rushed to do anything.  Which is about the best for me because I still can not get used to being rushed.  I always seem to get everything done plus more in a day when I am not rushed to do so.  The only thing that could make this morning better is if I had a Sundrop.  Right now I will settle for sweet tea though.

I can’t wait until payday.  I am going to buy me some news beads, wire, rope, and stuff to make my necklaces and bracelets with.  I love making jewelry(or anything artsy for that matter) and I have a lot of great idea for neat necklaces.  I do both hemp, bead, and am moving into wire some.  It is another thing I would like to do while I am on the road.  I would like to sell my necklaces too.

My most perfect day would be driving somewhere until we didn’t feel like driving anymore.  Preferably on the blue ridge.  There we would find the perfect campground and set up camp(I have no RV but I have a great tent).  Afterwards, we would find a beautiful park or something of the sort so he could paint, I could either write, read, use my oil pastels, or whatever I felt like doing in the particular moment while our son played.  I would look up at what I was doing every one in a while to watch my two guys having the time of their life.  There we would stay for a while, roaming nearby areas until there wasn’t anything left to roam.  Then we would be on our way again.  When we got homesick we would come home and when we got road sick we would hit the road.

I like simple.  Simple is good.  Haha and crazy to most people.  I hope you have a great rest of the day.

Sincerely,
Your Fan

September 5, 2013

Dear Arlo,

It all started for me…

Not two years ago on Thanksgiving, not with my friend because at the time I didn’t call too many people my friend, and I had no idea who you were(though later I would find out I did know your song City of New Orleans).  It  was before Asheville, The Second Fret (Coffee House and Bistro) Music Hall, The Upper Room, or any other significant place I had been.

For me it started about 6 years ago,  I wasn’t doing anything but walking out of a dead Student Center trying to get to my Student Council meeting.  I liked the idea of being able to make a change but the hard part always seemed to be getting everyone else to agree with me so it wasn’t anywhere I was excited about going.  I was mostly to myself these days.  Lost in my own trail of unhappiness and thought.  I didn’t even realize anyone was outside until I was about to hit the stairs and I heard it.  Somewhere across the sidewalk he was standing there, cigarette to his mouth, and he had told me hey.

I must have looked startled because I just stopped right there and starred.  I know I did my rose eyebrow thing I do when I am confused or suspicious.  Finally, I said, “hey” back.  Nothing real interesting but I had found my voice.  Then walking down the stairs I turned course a bit and went to stand beside him.  He had tattoos all over, a overgrown beard, and shaggy hair about down to the ears.  He seemed startled that I came over.

All I could seem to say to this guy was, “do you know smoking is bad for you?’  He replied, without hesitating, “well I have been overseas so I guess I figured it was my right to smoke.”  At the time, I had nothing to say back.  Not only had he caught my off guard he was the first person to give me some legit reasoning for my accusing that I could not argue back with.  I think I smiled and stood there as we both took each other in until I had to go.  In which case we departed and went our separate ways.

For months I occasionally thought about this guy who caught me completely off guard though I never saw him around.  I just continued with my plans of surviving here until I could pack up and head to the mountains in which Asheville was my destination.  Little did I know at the time how much we would make an impact on each other’s lives throughout the next few years or how symbolic some things would become.

This was also the beginning of me finding out just who you were Arlo.  If this had never happened I might have never known anything about You or Alice or the Church.  In which case I might have never started this very significant blog to my life.  Isn’t it strange how things happen?

I hope you have a good night,
Your Fan

September 4, 2013

Dear Arlo,

Sorry I didn't write to you yesterday.  I was so busy.  By the time I finally got home there was much I wanted to do but all I could seem to do was fall asleep so I finally just went to bed.  I can feel that feeling coming back again too.  It is the want to just jump in my car and leave for a little bit.  In the last letter I talked about the beach but once again all I can think about is the mountains.  I think my next destination will be Asheville.  It has been way too long since I have been there.  Every time I see that add that Asheville is calling you I think, “how did they know.”  

I haven’t been in 3 years.  I start and then always end up somewhere else instead.  Though I always manage to find the most interesting small towns by the time I start to head back towards my destination I am either pushing it for gas or have to be back somewhere here.  Once, I thought about just buying a RV or camper and living on the road.  Everyone seems to think I would get homesick, and maybe I would, but I seem to get road sick more than homesick.  There is something about just leaving in another direction that soothes me.  New people and new things.  Great music on the radio.  I wish I could truly explain it because I am doing a terrible job owning up to the feeling right now.

I have to work again shortly.  My job may set it’s limitations on where I can afford to go and have time to go but I love it.  As crazy as this sounds.  I am a cashier.  Which I have found out most people are not too crazy about.  I don’t really mind it though.  I get to talk to new people everyday and most of them are interesting.  Some are rude but I mostly ignore them.  Almost everyone has great stories though.  I have meet people who are just extraordinary.  I don’t see it so much as a job when I am checking people out because the experience of people is wonderful.  On slow days though time just lingers on and I feel so down and like everyone is everywhere but in my small town.  Maybe being a cashier is just my substitute of  riding off somewhere.  I’m not sure.

I could probably sit here and write all day but I have to begin getting ready now.  Until next time.

Still Sincerely,
A Fan

September 2, 2013

Dear Arlo Guthrie,

It is 6:34 in the morning and I have already been awake about an hour.  This would not be so bad but since had to close last night it was terrible to get out of bed this morning.  I think the worse part of waking up for me is mustering through the first 7 minutes.  After that it isn’t quit that bad because I seem to forget how tired I am and want to be alive.  I guess that is the good thing about having to open.  I can’t just sleep in for “five more minutes” and actually wake up and live.

The truth is though, even if I had not had to close I would have probably been up most the night.  I have tried to write my stories in the morning but somehow they just turn out different than my night ones.  Did you know I am a writer?  I just recently have found a voice I am letting everyone else hear but I have actually been writing for years.  I decided there is no use in only keeping my work to me when other people might enjoy them.  Of the millions of populations I figured there might be at least one other person in the world who has the same taste as me.  If not, at least I can truly say I am one in millions.

The entire house is still asleep and the only things that seem to be awake is me and the sun which is about to rise.  For the longest time I didn’t see the sun unless it was sinking so seeing it rise is a pleasant change.  The colors are more warm in the morning.  I would actually like to see it against the ocean.  When everyone went to the beach this summer I realized that I have had mountain fever for so long I have not been to see the ocean in 5 years or more.  I would like to get to see it soon.  When people use to ask me if I liked the mountains or the oceans more I would tell them I liked the mountains because they aren’t as destructive as the oceans but here lately I think I might just like both without some metaphorical answer I thought of myself.

I should have woke up even sooner because now I have to wrap this letter up and go to work.  I actually enjoy work but here and there I will get some unsettling people and then it isn’t quit as fun.  Most I manage to make smile but I have had a few that seemed like they would have rathered die then smile at my jokes.  When they left I was thinking, jesh, I know life isn’t always wonderful but it won’t ever be if you won’t let it.  

I hope you have a great day.

Sincerely,
A Fan

September 1, 2013

Dear Arlo Guthrie,

Last night I posted this;

Dear Arlo, I have left comments in the past. Then in moments of clarity I decide you probably don't read them. This must be another moment of madness. Which will lead me to ask a mad question. Do you read the comments? Sincerely, A Curious Fan

 under your Saturday August 31, 2013 post at 8:58pm.

I must say when I woke up later today (September 1, 2013) I had every intention upon deleting this comment too.  Sees to how I saw no response to you anyways and began to feel a little silly for leaving it in the first place.  Not to mention it took me forever to find it due to all the comments that had been post since I had posted this response just last night.  Then, something stopped me.  I saw two likes beside it.   It wowed me.  I couldn’t believe anyone had taken the time to read what I had posted anyways.

Which, all this gave me an idea to start this blog.  I guess I will be posting on it occasionally and checking to see how it does.  Until then, off to life,

Still Sincerely,
A Curious Fan